My wife and I watched an Amazon-original movie last Friday night entitled “Brittany Runs a Marathon.” It’s a solid tale based on an actual woman who was overweight, had a poor diet, drank too much alcohol and was generally sad inside, but somehow found the inner gumption to turn her life around, and it started by becoming a runner. Her first run, she managed to cover one measly block, but she built on that and, given the title of the flick, you can guess what she ended up doing.
I consumed two beers and a Crown Royal and Coke while watching the movie. Inspired to the hilt by Brittany’s grit and possibly a little buzzed, as the closing credits rolled I turned to my wife, a casual runner and workout warrior, and said, “Let’s go jogging tomorrow.”
She chuckled, but went with it, no doubt figuring I’d have a change of heart in the morning.
But I didn’t. The next morning I confirmed my intentions to get in a little run before lunch. My delighted wife, trying to prevent me from dropping dead, or maybe just having my entire body seize up around 100 feet into our little jaunt, insisted that we do a pre-run stretch session via her Peloton app. That alone tested my fitness mettle.
A while later, we were back at home doing our post-run Peloton app-aided stretch, and I couldn’t decide if I was feeling that “runner’s euphoria” you hear about, or if it was some kind of chemical dose of inner peace one feels before going into full cardiac arrest.
So how far did we run? Let’s just say it was more than a block, but less than 26.2 miles.
Early conclusions: I don’t enjoy running. Mostly because I’m out of shape, but also because I’m no good at it. You’re supposed to do a heel-to-toe stride, and no matter how hard I concentrate on doing that, I’m only able to maintain anything resembling proper form for a few strides before I lose my focus due to my brain shifting its attention to the stabbing fire in my lungs as I chest-heave and gasp in search of precious oxygen.
Funny, but I actually enjoyed the stretches, and that’s coming from someone not known for his flexibility. I once challenged a cinder block to a toe-touching competition, and came in second.
My wife, when I managed a pleasantly surprised “Wow” after the post-run stretch, sensed an opening and went for it. Minutes later, she’d scheduled a 20-minute “beginner yoga” class via Peloton in our living room for the next morning.
Me? Doing a 20-minute yoga class? I figure I’ll be able to produce a column topic per minute.
Don’t think we had the virus
My wife and I have had a surprising number of people, including a couple with years of experience in the medical field, suggest that we may have already been stricken with the COVID-19 virus and recovered from it.
I don't believe it, but it's interesting to consider. I've seen stories and claims, often from dubious sources citing questionable data, about Americans who fell ill in late 2019 possibly having COVID-19, but my wife and I were sick this past February.
She felt a cold coming on, with a scratchy throat and other mostly typical symptoms. A few hours later, I reported similar symptoms. A day or so later, she was already on the rebound.
I, meanwhile, was miserable and useless for three days. The dry cough was perhaps the worst I've ever endured, and in the evenings I was burning up.
That was Valentine's Day weekend. We had planned a visit to Duluth but postponed it a week. When we finally went, it was basically my first foray into the outdoors and fresh air. When we rode fat-tire bikes along Gitche Gumee, my stamina was not 100%. It was I who suggested we turn around and head back because I felt like I couldn't get enough air in my lungs.
If I was recovering from COVID-19, our Duluth trip would have fallen toward the tail end of the 14-day quarantine period, so I would have come in contact with our son attending UMD and a whole bunch of other people in restaurants and stores and, really, all over Duluth that weekend.
Again, I don't think either one of us had COVID-19. I think it’s become sort of a thing for people to suggest that anyone who suffered a nasty upper respiratory infection over the past few months may have had the virus.
Still, if any medical professional wants to take some blood and screen it for COVID-19 antibodies, be my guest. Anyone who knows me knows I’m all about saving others.