You know something has officially reached iconic status when the something, a person, place or thing that’s otherwise known as a noun, becomes a verb.
Google is first to come to mind. It’s a Web search engine, specifically, and it’s a place I visit many times a week both for work and personal reasons. At work, in the Times’ newsroom, the scene is played out over and over and over: Someone will ask a question relating to a piece they’re writing, and if no one else in the newsroom knows the answer for certain, “Google it,” is the almost reflexive response. There are other search sites out there, but you just don’t hear anyone say “Yahoo” it, or “Bing” it.
The social networking site Facebook has now reached Google status. Ask someone what they’re doing as they’re sitting in front of their computer, and you might hear that they’re “Facebooking.” Or, maybe you have a kid who asks every now and then if he can “Facebook” for a little while before baseball practice.
So are you a Facebooker? If you are, what kind Facebooker are you? Me? I log on a couple times a day, just to see what my 170 or so “friends” are up to, but I must admit that when I’m Facebooking, it’s for entertainment purposes, i.e. I want to be entertained by all the Facebook bizarros, for lack of a better word.
If someone was going to write a column on Facebook and categorize me in the Facebook spectrum, I’d be the Facebooker who posts comments on his page now and then for the sole purpose of trying to be funny. We don’t have what it takes to take the stage on an open mic night or anything like that, but we think we’re pretty clever and quick-witted and, darn it, we’re going to share it with the Facebook world and see how many “LMAO!” or “LOL!” replies from our “friends” that we can get.
But, oh, there are so many other Facebooker types out there, who, quite frankly, need to lay on a couch and speak to a person professionally trained to delve deep into the twisted mind. To wit:
• The Facebookers who wake up in the morning and go to bed at night with Facebook. Their typical first post: “Good morning Facebook world!” Their typical last post of the night: “Good night Facebook world!” Good God...
• There are the copy-and-pasters who always post something in their “status update” and then want you to copy and paste it as your status. Maybe there’s a rumor Facebook is going to change its privacy settings, so you’re supposed to copy and paste as part of a protest against the faceless Facebook Gestapo machine lurking behind the cyber-wall.
• Related to the copy-and-pasters are the obscure-week-recognizers who copy and paste sentimental, wonderful comments about someone, and encourage you to do the same, because, for example, It’s “Step Great Uncle’s Cousin’s Week!” Who declares these weeks anyway? Some Wizard of Facebook Oz hiding behind a curtain? “When you’re down, he’s always there for you with a smile and a cheerful word. When you need a hand, he’s there to lend it. It’s Step Great Uncle’s Cousin’s Week, and if you have a wonderful step great uncle’s cousin in your life, copy and paste this post and leave it as your status for two hours!” is the typical sample post during these sad yet oddly intriguing weeks. Then, almost without fail, the step great uncle’s cousin being singled out with such praise will respond with something like, “I love you so much!!!!!!!!”
• There are the confrontational posters, who are maybe just having a bad day but more than likely are in some sort of tiff with a friend, either in good old real life or in Facebook land. And they’re not going to take it anymore! They invariably post something relating to all the unnecessary, childish “drama” in their lives, without realizing that, with their post, they’re being as childish and overly dramatic as your average sixth grade girl.
• There are the way-too-much-information posters, too, and these people have reached epidemic status. Without getting into too much detail in case you’re chewing food right now, if you have a medical issue that requires the expertise of a proctologist, please, keep it between you and your proctologist, and maybe a couple of close and treasured loved ones.
• There are other Facebookers leading us on a fast track toward the Four Horsemen, too, like the kids who can’t or simply refuse to spell anything correctly and have never heard of a comma or period, and the people who play silly Facebook-inspired games like “Farmville.” You say your calf needs some hay to eat? Well, look in the mirror, Farmer Ted. This isn’t heaven, and it’s not Iowa, either. It’s Facebook, and no one wants to subsidize your fake farm.
