Mom Jeans, Minivans, and Vibrators, Oh My!
Tue, 21 May 2013 20:18:12lostinsuburbiabloghttp://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20130521/BLOGS/305219975/-1/blogs01When you are going on TV to promote your book, you expect that you will be talking about…http://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20130519/BLOGS/305199983/-1/blogs01
As I write this blog, I’m sitting on a plane headed home from Chicago. This was the last stop on my Lost in Our Nations Capital
Tue, 14 May 2013 13:01:14lostinsuburbiabloghttp://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20130514/BLOGS/305149999/-1/blogs01I hope everyone had a great Mother’s Day yesterday and no one got a vacuum cleaner as a gift (unless it was a really good vacuum cleaner).
I got breakfast in bed, lots of hugs, and the chance to be on stage with 19 [...]]]>
Lost in Los Angeles
Sat, 11 May 2013 11:19:35 +0000lostinsuburbiabloghttp://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20130511/BLOGS/305119996/-1/blogs01The next stop on my Lost in Suburbia “Six City Cool Mom Book and Blow Dry Bar Tour” was Los Angeles. But before I could fly out there, I had an [...]]]>Hot-lanta!!
Sun, 5 May 2013 4:01:43lostinsuburbiabloghttp://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20130505/BLOGS/305059999/-1/blogs01When last we left off, I had just wrapped up my book tour stop in Charlottte. We barely had time to bask in the afterglow of a major cupcake binge, when [...]]]>Heres How They Party in Charlotte!!
Wed, 1 May 2013 0:23:22lostinsuburbiabloghttp://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20130501/BLOGS/305019934/-1/blogs01This one I can’t blame on the dog.
Yes, he was with me when I went for a run, turned my ankle on some big old rusty bolt in the street, fell down and broke my thumb, but it wasn’t his fault.
The Third TImes the Charm
Wed, 24 Apr 2013 11:17:06 +0000lostinsuburbiabloghttp://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20130424/BLOGS/304249990/-1/blogs01I’m not the sharpest knife in the drawer. I think it might have to do with those brain cells I lost in childbirth. [...]]]>The 1st Ever Lost in Suburbia Cool Mom Book and Blow Dry Bar Tour: First Stop NYC!!
Thu, 18 Apr 2013 17:20:54 +0000lostinsuburbiabloghttp://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20130418/BLOGS/304189940/-1/blogs01Last night was the big NYC kick off for my six city Lost in Suburbia “Cool Mom Book and Blow Dry Bar Tour.” About 50 women joined me at the fabulous Fix [...]]]>The Dog is Out to Ruin Me
Mon, 15 Apr 2013 14:12:54lostinsuburbiabloghttp://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20130415/BLOGS/304159993/-1/blogs01If you read my post last week about my phone call with The Today Show, then you know how the dog chose that exact moment to interrupt my call and pee all over the floor. Then when I tired to clean up the mess while still on the call, I managed to throw my phone across the room and hang up on The Today Show.
Well, you know that [...]]]>
Book Events and Massive Thunderstorms are Not a Good Combination
Thu, 11 Apr 2013 11:26:28 +0000lostinsuburbiabloghttp://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20130411/BLOGS/304119992/-1/blogs01So last night I abandoned my husband, the kids, and the dog-who-shall-not-be-named (to find out why the dog is in the dog house, check out my last blog post) and went to Ridgewood NJ for two great events at Bookends bookstore.
For instance yesterday I had a pre-interview on the phone with The Today Show producers for the [...]]]>
Heres Why You Should Never Think Youre All That
Fri, 5 Apr 2013 11:21:54 +0000lostinsuburbiabloghttp://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20130405/BLOGS/304059990/-1/blogs01
This morning I had an appearance on the a.m. talk show “Live From the Couch,” which airs on WLNY TV55 in New York and Connecticut. Since I was going on to talk [...]]]>
And The Lost in Suburbia Fun Continues
Thu, 4 Apr 2013 11:20:42 +0000lostinsuburbiabloghttp://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20130404/BLOGS/304049991/-1/blogs01The dog is trying to eat the chinchilla.
No, that is not a euphemism for something. He really wants to chow down on chinchilla. The chinchilla actually predates the dog and had [...]]]>The Day After the Book Launch
Wed, 3 Apr 2013 11:20:54 +0000lostinsuburbiabloghttp://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20130403/BLOGS/304039991/-1/blogs01Is it Wednesday yet? WOW! That was quite a day yesterday! Yesterday “Lost in Suburbia: A Momoir” hit the shelves and [...]]]>Lost in Suburbia: A Momoir is Here!!
Tue, 2 Apr 2013 11:20:54 +0000lostinsuburbiabloghttp://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20130402/BLOGS/304029994/-1/blogs01TODAY IS THE DAY!
Please help me welcome the arrival of my bouncing baby book.
I [...]]]>Its Almost Time to Ditch Your Mom Jeans and Get Ready to Get Your Cool Back!
Fri, 29 Mar 2013 23:20:19 +0000lostinsuburbiabloghttp://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20130330/BLOGS/303309999/-1/blogs01The “Lost in Suburbia” book launch is just around the corner and we’re kicking it off
The book launch is just a week away and it’s getting really busy around here! I finally have a (mostly) complete book tour scheduled… or at least some dates and cities on hold! I’ll be filling in the [...]]]>
One Mom, Two Moms, Young Moms, Blue Moms
Mon, 25 Mar 2013 17:20:30 +0000lostinsuburbiabloghttp://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20130325/BLOGS/303259958/-1/blogs01When you’re a mom, you don’t really think about what demographic you fall into until you suddenly [...]]]>The Latest Lost in Suburbia Column: The Mom Did it, In the Kitchen, with a Microwave
Fri, 22 Mar 2013 21:17:27lostinsuburbiabloghttp://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20130322/BLOGS/303229964/-1/blogs01
Usually when one of our appliances dies, we get some kind of warning. When the dishwasher went, it started flooding. When the [...]]]>The Sniff Test
Tue, 12 Mar 2013 17:05:28 +0000lostinsuburbiabloghttp://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20130312/BLOGS/303129962/-1/blogs01
Some kids ease into adolescence with very little fanfare while others seem to slam into it with such force they leave their parents feeling like roadkill on the interstate.
My son fell somewhere in between. [...]]]>
The Latest Lost in Suburbia Column: The Rain in Spain Stays Mainly in the Basement
Wed, 6 Mar 2013 11:05:36 +0000lostinsuburbiabloghttp://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20130306/BLOGS/303069993/-1/blogs01
Often times when you have a plumbing emergency, you can’t actually get a plumber to come quickly unless you have visual proof that your house has turned into an ark and is floating away. Fortunately for us, when an [...]]]>All Lined Up and Nowhere to Go
Sun, 3 Mar 2013 11:05:36 +0000lostinsuburbiabloghttp://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20130303/BLOGS/303039995/-1/blogs01
It was one of those days where everything was taking a ridiculously long time. There was a line at the drycleaners. A line at the supermarket. A line at the gas station. I was starting to think that everyone in the world [...]]]>Just What the Web Doctor Ordered
Tue, 19 Feb 2013 18:14:50lostinsuburbiabloghttp://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20130219/BLOGS/302199992/-1/blogs01
“I don’t feel well,” my husband informed me over the phone.
“I know, honey,” I said as I perused the chicken soup selections at the supermarket for him. [...]]]>
The Latest Lost in Suburbia Column: The Phone on the Throne
Mon, 18 Feb 2013 17:22:26lostinsuburbiabloghttp://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20130218/BLOGS/302189964/-1/blogs01I could hear the phone ringing from the bathroom. I have no psychic abilities and I wasn’t expecting a call, but I had absolutely no doubt who was [...]]]>Career Counseling for Kids
Mon, 11 Feb 2013 11:05:34 +0000lostinsuburbiabloghttp://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20130211/BLOGS/302119997/-1/blogs01One of the most amusing things when you’re a parent is hearing your kids talk about what they want to be when they grow up. Like most little boys, when my son was 3 he decided he wanted to be a [...]]]>Whats Hiding in Your Junk Drawer?
Tue, 5 Feb 2013 11:30:24 +0000lostinsuburbiabloghttp://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20130205/BLOGS/302059978/-1/blogs01
I am the queen of organization. But the one place in the house that defies my vast organizational skills is the junk drawer. The junk drawer is that place in everyone’s home that becomes the final resting place [...]]]>The Latest Lost in Suburbia Column: How to Get Your Husband to See a Chick Flick
Wed, 30 Jan 2013 17:06:40lostinsuburbiabloghttp://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20130130/BLOGS/301309971/-1/blogs01“Do you want to see a movie tonight?” asked my husband.
It was a perfectly reasonable question. It was a Saturday afternoon. We had no plans. But having been married to this guy for [...]]]>
What to Do When There is a Formerly Fuzzy, But Now Very Dead Thing in the Backyard
Fri, 25 Jan 2013 11:10:54 +0000lostinsuburbiabloghttp://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20130125/BLOGS/301259994/-1/blogs01One morning I looked outside and I saw a dead animal in the backyard.
Naturally, the first thing I did was take a headcount of all of our pets to make sure the furry, stiff thing outside was not one of [...]]]>
The Latest Lost in Suburbia Column: All the Bells and Whistles of Puppyhood
Wed, 9 Jan 2013 11:11:02 +0000lostinsuburbiabloghttp://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20130109/BLOGS/301099993/-1/blogs01Having a new puppy in the house is pretty much identical to having a new baby. He naps every couple of hours and when he wakes up he’s hungry. [...]]]>Heres Why You Shouldnt Make New Years Resolutions While Driving
Thu, 3 Jan 2013 17:10:32 +0000lostinsuburbiabloghttp://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20130103/BLOGS/301039970/-1/blogs01
Last year I made a New Year’s resolution not to make any New Year’s resolutions because I always immediately [...]]]>Ho-Ho-Hoping for a Healthy Holiday
Tue, 25 Dec 2012 11:15:35 +0000lostinsuburbiabloghttp://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20121225/BLOGS/312259994/-1/blogs01This month, while most people are suffering from colds and flu, I have developed a lesser-known malady known as Lickity Spit [...]]]>I Saw Monty Kissing Santa Claus
Wed, 19 Dec 2012 17:15:29 +0000lostinsuburbiabloghttp://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20121219/BLOGS/312199979/-1/blogs01
Twas a Week Before Christmas
Tue, 18 Dec 2012 17:15:43 +0000lostinsuburbiabloghttp://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20121218/BLOGS/312189964/-1/blogs01
’Twas a week before Christmas and we all were still shopping
Brookstone was packed and the Mac store was hopping
A sale at the Gap and at Lucky Brand beckoned. Happy Holidays from Me and My Girl!
Mon, 17 Dec 2012 23:15:22lostinsuburbiabloghttp://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20121217/BLOGS/312179937/-1/blogs01
I can’t believe a whole year has gone by since our last holiday [...]]]>
My Itty Bitty Pity Party
Fri, 7 Dec 2012 17:15:42 +0000lostinsuburbiabloghttp://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20121207/BLOGS/312079975/-1/blogs01
photo courtesy Laura [...]]]>
Not Quite Dead but Almost Buried
Thu, 29 Nov 2012 15:07:41lostinsuburbiabloghttp://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20121127/BLOGS/311279987/-1/blogs01“Hello?”
“Hi, Mrs. Berkerman?”
“Oh. I have Berkerman here. Must be a mistake.”
“Can I help you? [...]]]>
What NOT to do with the Leftover Thanksgiving Turkey
Tue, 27 Nov 2012 8:08:01http://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20121123/BLOGS/311239993/-1/blogs01“You know what I’m thankful for, Aunt Tracy?” asked my niece.
“All this leftover Turkey!” she beamed as I surveyed the inside of my refrigerator.
I gave her a withering [...]]]>
Where All the Popular Kids Are
Tue, 27 Nov 2012 8:08:00http://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20121120/BLOGS/311209946/-1/blogs01Although I never won any popularity contests, per se, I like to think I was pretty popular when I was a kid. I did have two really good friends when I was [...]]]>How to Tell the Difference Between a Knee a Flower
Fri, 9 Nov 2012 14:33:14http://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20121108/BLOGS/311089898/-1/blogs01
Me: “Hi Honey, it’s me.”
Hubby: “Hey Tray, what’s up?”
Me: “I just got back from the orthopedist about my knee and I wanted to let you know what he said.”
Hubby: “OK. [...]]]>
Dont You Wish You Were Friends With Bill Clinton, Like Me?
Wed, 7 Nov 2012 15:27:32http://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20121106/BLOGS/311069992/-1/blogs01Four years ago, former President Clinton called me to suggest that I vote for his friend, Barack Obama. Naturally, I was pretty impressed with myself that Bill would take time out from his busy, um, former-presidenting, to call me [...]]]>The Trouble with Having a New Puppy in a Hurricane
Wed, 7 Nov 2012 15:27:32http://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20121105/BLOGS/311059995/-1/blogs01
In the scheme of things, having to deal with a new puppy in and after a hurricane, is not a major issue. With so much devastation in the NY, NJ and CT areas, I am hesitant to even mention this. However, since this is a [...]]]>Sit, Stay and Buy Me Something Shiny
Fri, 26 Oct 2012 10:06:08http://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20121025/BLOGS/310259991/-1/blogs01(This story is part of the collection of essays in my first book, “Rebel without a Minivan.” Since we just adopted a new puppy and are reliving those awesome housebreaking days all over again, I thought I would share it here!)
My dear friend Ed and I bonded many years ago over dogs. I think our friendship was sealed the day he brought his new puppy, Sadie, over to meet me, and after they left, I realized Sadie had left me a gift on my family room rug. [...]]]>Newsflash: Moms Dont Get Sick Days
Thu, 18 Oct 2012 16:20:44http://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20121008/BLOGS/310089998/-1/blogs01When I woke up I sneezed twice, so I immediately knew I was coming down with a cold.
If I had sneezed three times, it would have just been a regular sneeze, because I always sneeze in threes when I’m [...]]]>
Up a Creek without a Coffeemaker
Thu, 18 Oct 2012 16:20:44http://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20121002/BLOGS/310029997/-1/blogs01When we first moved to the ‘burbs, I was warned by my neighbors that power outages were pretty common in our neck of the woods. I suspected that the large number of trees towering over the power lines might have had [...]]]>Top Ten Annoying Moms to Avoid at All Costs
Thu, 18 Oct 2012 16:20:43http://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20120925/BLOGS/309259997/-1/blogs01
Before I became a mom, I assumed every mom was pretty much like every other mom. However, once I joined the club, I realized that moms come in all flavors… and [...]]]>How Shopping for Toothpaste can Melt Your Brain
Thu, 18 Oct 2012 16:20:43http://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20120920/BLOGS/309209999/-1/blogs01
Recently I had to go to the drugstore to buy a tube of toothpaste. It took me an hour and a half and I almost had a nervous breakdown. In all honesty, I absolutely believe that there are people [...]]]>My Life as a Game Show
Thu, 18 Oct 2012 16:20:43http://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20120918/BLOGS/309189999/-1/blogs01
“Fall has arrived and you know what that means. It’s time for everyone’s favorite game show, ‘Keep or Toss!’ I’m your host, Tracy Beckerman and today, my own family will be playing the game. So, Beckermans, are you ready to play? [...]]]>Make Like a Tree and Leave
Thu, 18 Oct 2012 16:20:43http://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20120913/BLOGS/309139999/-1/blogs01
“Don’t you love fall foliage?” A friend of mine asked as we watched brilliant leaves of red, orange and gold waft down from the trees. “It’s such a beautiful time of year.”
I rolled my eyes. I had no patience [...]]]>
Getting My CAbi On
Thu, 18 Oct 2012 16:20:42http://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20120912/BLOGS/309129998/-1/blogs01I have to admit it, the first time a friend invited me to a CAbi party, I thought we were going to be getting drunk and riding around in yellow taxis. Having just moved to the suburbs from [...]]]>An Open Letter to the Grammar Police
Thu, 18 Oct 2012 16:20:42http://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20120910/BLOGS/309109999/-1/blogs01Dear Grammar Police,
I wanted to thank you publicly for noticing a grammatical error in my recent column (“Tracy Beckerman, Dis-Robed”), with regard to my use of the pronoun “I.” [...]]]>
The Latest Lost in Suburbia Column: The Evolution of Naked
Thu, 18 Oct 2012 16:20:42http://www.crookstontimes.com/article/20120906/BLOGS/309069998/-1/blogs01When your kids are babies, they have absolutely no concept of you being naked. They have bigger fish to fry such as eating, sleeping and pooping. But sometime around age two, they suddenly get what naked is and then the [...]]]>